Lamar, Lamar, Lamar…smh

“Now what now?” I asked this question as I was listening to the radio last week and heard that Lamar Odom had caught himself a Kardashian. That question was followed by “Oh HELLLLL NO!” when I heard that said Kardashian was none other than Khloé Kardashian. I mean, let’s be real, Lamar is no looker himself. As my mother would say he’s kind of “doompty” but he actually has potential (i.e. the funds) to cop a more attractive woman/star (i.e. the other Kardashian or Taraji P. Henson whom he was courting just weeks before he met Kholé). Supposedly he also proposed to Taraji who basically said “Ninja Please!” in her best Yvette from Baby Boy voice. Before I get assaulted by the folks who believe looks are not everything, let me also address the fact that he knew the girl for 30 days. There are infomercial product trial periods that last longer than that. Wouldn't you want to try out your "life partner" for a little longer buddy? You’re not fooling anyone, Lamar. I see you trying to get a reality show or some sort of celebrity status and I’ve already started a petition with every network in hopes of you not getting it. Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids!

And with that, we roast:


Lamar, wtf. Boom. Roasted.

Lamar, Taraji called and she said that chick is going to look older than Benjamin Button. Boom. Roasted.

Lamar, you didn’t give her half your money but she took all of your dignity. Boom. Roasted.

Lamar, some of those shots you put up made me question your eye sight but now I'm genuinely concerned. Boom. Roasted.

Lamar, the results are in. Unfortunately your kids will indeed look uglier than the both of you. Boom. Roasted.

Wait, sorry Lamar, I was wrong. You won't be married long enough to have kids. Boom Roasted.

Lamar Odom. The 3rd best Laker married the 3rd best Kardashian. Boom. Roasted.

Lamar. You chose the fat one over Taraji? Even Stevie wonder can see that’s a bad look. Boom. Roasted.

Lamar, I would have chosen Taraji. Did you not feel her wrists? Signed, Ray Charles. Boom. Roasted.